Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens

Wondering how to talk to your teen about relationships and intimacy? Clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour has the research-backed answers.Your teenager is in a relationship, and now you're asking yourself a question you never thought you'd have to answer: Do I allow this in my home?

This is a tough topic to face, but avoiding it doesn't protect our kids. Honest, values-based conversation does.

Dr. Lisa Damour and Reena Ninan unpack what the research actually says about teen intimacy, why your discomfort is valid, and how to respond in a way that reflects your family's values  without leaving your teen without guidance.

💡 YOU'LL LEARN:

- What developmental psychology actually says about teens in relationships, and where the real concerns lie

- Why your instinct to set boundaries in your own home is not only valid, but worth acting on

- What today's data reveals about teen intimacy that will likely surprise you

- A simple four-question framework for talking to your teen about healthy, mutual, and safe relationships

- What one country's approach to these conversations can teach us about getting better outcomes for our kids

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Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges.  Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have got you covered! Together they address listener questions about stress, anxiety, social media concerns, school pressures, and challenges in peer relationships. Each episode provides practical advice and science-backed solutions to help parents raise resilient, confident, and emotionally healthy kids. Tune in every week for the latest topics in parenting, child psychology, and family wellness. Get answers to your most pressing parenting questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday.



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If you're raising a tween or teen in a world of social media, smartphones, and AI, this conversation is for you.

How do you protect your kid from the psychological harms of today's digital world (disturbing content, social media, and AI) without pushing them away or damaging the relationship you've worked so hard to build with them? That's the question at the heart of this special episode of Ask Lisa.

Live from the Common Sense Summit on Kids and Families, clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour sits down with Dr. Nadine Burke Harris, award-winning physician, researcher, and California's inaugural Surgeon General, for a conversation that will genuinely change how you think about your kid and their devices. Together, they bring decades of clinical expertise and hard-won parenting experience to the questions families are struggling with most right now around tech and their kids.

💡 YOU'LL LEARN

- Why what kids see online can rewire their developing nervous systems (and what parents can do about it right now)

- The one thing you should say to your tween or teen before they ever go online 

- How to set a phone contract that's tied to developmental readiness, not just age (and what to say when your kid isn’t ready)

- Why teaching kids to recognize algorithm manipulation is more powerful than any parental control

- The questions that keep conversation open when your teen encounters disturbing content, appearance pressure, or harmful online trends

- What parents of kids who have experienced adverse childhood experiences need to know about AI risks for kids and algorithm-driven platforms

If you're feeling overwhelmed by the digital world your kid is growing up in, this conversation will leave you feeling more grounded, more equipped, and even closer to your teen.________________



Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges.  Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have got you covered! Together they address listener questions about stress, anxiety, social media concerns, school pressures, and challenges in peer relationships. Each episode provides practical advice and science-backed solutions to help parents raise resilient, confident, and emotionally healthy kids. Tune in every week for the latest topics in parenting, child psychology, and family wellness. Get answers to your most pressing parenting questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday.



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Your kid just got dropped by their friend group, or they're being left out, iced out, or caught in the middle of middle school friendship drama… and you have no idea what to say.

In this “Best of Ask Lisa” compilation, we’ve curated wisdom from clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour on friendship conflict to help parents understand exactly what's happening beneath the surface of tween and teen friend drama and give you the tools to help your kid through it.

Whether your child has been dumped by a friend group, is dealing with a mean "friend," or needs help exiting a friendship that isn't working, this “Best of Ask Lisa” episode is for you.

💡 YOU'LL LEARN

- The crucial difference between bullying and conflict in middle school, and why it matters for how you respond

- Why middle schoolers are so anxious about belonging, and why some kids turn to meanness

- Why excluding and rumor-spreading are common weapons in friend group drama

- Why kids get excluded from friend groups, and how to explain it to your child in a way that helps them take it less personally

- Practical, compassionate things to say and do when your tween or teen is hurting

All full episodes featured in this compilation are linked below:

185. How Should My Son Deal with Trash-Talking Friends?

166. My Kid is Being Bullied. What Should I Do?

194. How Do I Help My Daughter Get Past an Ugly Rumor?

249. When Teasing Turns Toxic, What’s a Parent to Do?

71. My Kid Was Dumped by Her Friends. How Can I Help?

84. How Do I Encourage My Tween to Drop a Bad Friendship?

156. Is There a Gentle Way to Drop a Friend?

98. My Friends' Kids Are Excluding My Kid. What Should I Do?

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Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges.  Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have got you covered! Together they address listener questions about stress, anxiety, social media concerns, school pressures, and challenges in peer relationships. Each episode provides practical advice and science-backed solutions to help parents raise resilient, confident, and emotionally healthy kids. Tune in every week for the latest topics in parenting, child psychology, and family wellness. Get answers to your most pressing parenting questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday.



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Is your teen obsessed with their appearance? Spending hours in front of the mirror, constantly taking selfies, and seeking validation for their looks? In a world where social media turns appearance into currency, building your teen's self-esteem on a stronger foundation has never been more important.

In this episode, Dr. Lisa Damour and Reena Ninan dig into a letter from a parent whose 14-year-old daughter’s world has started to revolve around how she looks. So when does preoccupation with appearance cross the line into something worth addressing?

Dr. Lisa breaks it all down, including what to say, what not to say, and how to gently guide your teen toward a stronger, more grounded sense of self.

💡 YOU'LL LEARN:

- The key sign that tells you appearance focus has gone from typical to concerning

- Dr. Lisa’s "lakes and tributaries" framework to build lasting teen self-esteem

- How to help your kid see their worth goes far beyond how they look

- The four Rs for setting limits around what your teen posts on social media

- What Dr. Lisa actually says when someone compliments her daughter's looks in public

Whether your child is a tween just becoming aware of her appearance or a teen deep in the selfie spiral, this episode will leave you with concrete language, helpful frameworks, and a clearer sense of how to talk to your teen about looks.

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Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges.  Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have got you covered! Together they address listener questions about stress, anxiety, social media concerns, school pressures, and challenges in peer relationships. Each episode provides practical advice and science-backed solutions to help parents raise resilient, confident, and emotionally healthy kids. Tune in every week for the latest topics in parenting, child psychology, and family wellness. Get answers to your most pressing parenting questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday.



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You check your phone and your teen's location is off again. Are they okay? Are they hiding something? …And should you even be tracking them in the first place?

In this week's episode, Dr. Lisa and Reena dig into one of the most common standoffs happening in homes with teenagers right now: location sharing. A dad writes in about his 16-year-old son, who has started turning off his location. The kid wants privacy and autonomy. The dad just wants to sleep at night. Who’s right here?

💡 YOU'LL LEARN:

- What tracking your teen is really about: peace of mind or safety?

- What's really going on psychologically when teens turn off their location

- How to have an honest, non-combative conversation with your teen about location sharing

- Practical compromises that protect your sanity without damaging your relationship

We'd love to hear from you: Are you currently tracking your teen? And how are they handling it?

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Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges.  Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have got you covered! Together they address listener questions about stress, anxiety, social media concerns, school pressures, and challenges in peer relationships. Each episode provides practical advice and science-backed solutions to help parents raise resilient, confident, and emotionally healthy kids. Tune in every week for the latest topics in parenting, child psychology, and family wellness. Get answers to your most pressing parenting questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday.



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